Thursday, May 05, 2005

My Fear

Is anyone else deathly afraid of life in general? I know it sounds lame, but if I get to thinking about it too much (and by it, I mean everything) I start to kind of panic. Right now I'm working in a deli at a supermarket. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work there for the next year or ten years, never moving in position, maybe getting raises every so often, a pat on the back here, an admonishment there, and then find myself in the same spot at the end of the day. Not moving is frightening. I told my friend Leah once, "I'd better be a writer or something, because this working thing sucks." I didn't just mean that I was lazy; I don't think I'd be able to stand it if I was stuck in one place where nothing moved. I guess I need to find a job where there is progression, and where I'm working towards a goal, then a higher goal, then higher yet. Something to keep me moving.

Fortunately, I'm only just eighteen. I'm sure I can find something after college. Right?

1 comment:

Super Peter said...

Your comment is very touching and moved me a lot. I'm sure you will have a great career and life. Best of luck! - Peter
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