Just Like the Brochures...

I think I just realized how much a part of me all of this is now.

I just remembered writing Michelle's name in katakana on her whiteboard and being so impressed and surprised when she revealed that she'd already looked up all of the symbols for it. I think I felt flattered at that moment, like she'd just paid me a compliment by showing an interest in Japanese. I realized that I felt like it was a part of who I was, and then I wondered if I would always feel that way. I had been practicing some kanji.

Will I one day miss the feeling of writing in Japanese?

I think it was a couple of weeks ago that I was moving between writing a word in hiragana and one in English and it stunned me that the sounds the pencil made were completely different. The way I wrote the Japanese word sounded as short clicks against the paper while the English word was rapid scribbles. It's amazing for me to write in two completely different ways within seconds of one another, and with the same hand.

Will I miss that one day?

Miss attempting to write a Japanese word in romaji for the sake of my family and screwing up the first 3 or 4 times and writing こ　instead of k or something. It's happened a few times.

I don't want to give up this knowledge, but I don't think that I'm ready to make the sacrifices required in order to keep it.